Toilet Humor

So here in Iraq we have few pleasures. The three toilets that are shared between about 75 people were broken for a couple of months forcing us to use the green porta-johns. About a month ago new toilets were installed with this sign hung over it.

DO NOT FLUSH
YOUR BABY WIPES.
IT CLOGS THE
SYSTEM

ANYMORE CASES OF THE SYSTEM GETTING CLOGGED WITH BABY WIPES WILL RESULT IN THESE TOILETS BEING PUT OFF LIMITS

A few days later all the toilets were clogged and we were back to using the green porta-johns. A couple of the guys thought the signs were not up to GRUNT standards. Some one took a magic marker and changed it to read.

DO NOT FLUSH
YOUR BABIES
IT CLOGS THE
SYSTEM

ANYMORE CASES OF THE SYSTEM GETTING CLOGGED WITH BABIES WILL RESULT IN THESE TOILETS BEING PUT OFF LIMITS

Now they have fixed all the toilets again and have hung a new sign over the toilet. It reads.

ATTENTION!
Nothing but poop and
piss can go into the
new toilets. (no baby
wipes, no toilet
paper

And those guys that are dropping the huge shits let those fricken huge things sit and soften up before you flush and start a higher fiber diet!!!!!!! (Bran cereal, fiber bars, raisins, prunes, green veggies)

Thanx Management

Well that’s about the extent of funny here in a combat zone in Iraq. I am sure if I give them a couple more days the sign will be changed and even worse than this. Who knows I might even be the one that adds to it.

Thanks Giving

Well, the holidays have started. I just got off of yahoo, where I got to talk to and see my Angels. They are on there way to South Dakota to spend Thanksgiving with my wife’s fiancé and his folks. Most the time I call her my ex but she is still my wife we are only separated and she is engaged. Yes, I am a tad bit bitter still. Not because I love her or even care about her, but because I thought I married someone much better than that. Any way enough on the ex.
I was so happy to see my little girls. They have gotten so big over the last 9 months. They wanted to show me there toys, tell me about there cat, and Hailey the youngest kept pointing at her eye to make sure I knew that a dog had bit her face and given her a black eye. As soon as she saw me frowning on web cam she grinned at me and nodded. She is the tough one of the two. She falls and hurts herself cries then gets up and smiles as long as she knows she has my sympathy. Though my ex can look up my sympathy between shit and syphilis. Ops talking about the ex again.
Then MacKenzie wanted her turn in front of the cam to show me how she can balance her baby doll on her head and make faces at me. She gave me the look she always gives me when she is not impressed with me. Turning her head to the side she puts a hand on her hip and raises her eyebrow at me. Guess where she learned that.
Being in the army I have missed many Thanksgivings. So I will celebrate and give thanks to God with my friends here. We will make jokes and laugh and keep each others spirits up and not think about home except for a phone call or two to the folks and some friends. We will all be home in 54 days many of us will be home in 47.

Can't think of one :P

Well not much going on. E-mailing friends and family at home to see who is going to help out and who is just saying they will. Got a nanny (inside joke :P) lined up though im still convincing her to start in Jan instead of at the end of Feb. I will get my girls on Feb 1 assuming that my ex-wife doesn’t try to screw me on the technical stuff from the separation agreement on account of the divorce was supposed to be final beginning of December but it wont be till after I get home.

I have been doing a lot of online shopping for furniture for the house. Still haven’t found a place to live. I am looking at renting a house instead of an apartment. Is a King size bed over doing it?

Any way that’s all I have for now. Ill be home in under 60 days :D happy days.

71 days 20 hours 18 mins 21 secs

Yes im counting the days instead of making the days count. Up until a couple weeks ago I was just going on and doing my job day in and day out. I am now starting to make plans to go back home. Looking for a place to live with my daughters and making arrangements for daycare, school, and travel to and from. I have been looking for furniture and stuff to put into my home so when my girls show up I have simple things to be able to cook and feed them with and keep there clothes washed and have a place for them to sleep. My ex took most of the stuff we had. Not much longer and I will be putting my single father skills to the test. I have been getting a lot of good advice and support from my friends, online and in real life. So thanks for all your help peeps.

Nine Years

CIB

Well nine years ago on October 22, 1996 I Bobby R S Clarkster Enlisted into the United States Army as an 11B Infantry Soldier. Today after nine years and having earned the rank of Staff Sergeant I received my COMBAT INFANTRYMAN BADGES (CIB). The qualification in which I met the standards for the award were as follows.

a. A soldier must be an Army infantry or special forces officer (SSI 11 or 18) in the grade of colonel or below, or an Army enlisted soldier or warrant officer with an infantry or special forces MOS, who has satisfactorily performed duty while assigned or attached as a member of an infantry, ranger or special forces unit of brigade, regimental or smaller size during any period such unit was engaged in active ground combat, to close with and destroy the enemy with direct fires.

b. A soldier must be personally present and under fire while serving in an assigned infantry or Special Forces primary duty, in a unit engaged in active ground combat to close with and destroy the enemy with direct fires.

SO... What happened do you ask? Well I will tell you about the first time it happened (it being under direct fire from AK-47's and Rocket Propelled Grenade's.) It was a couple months into rotation in March some time. I was ridding in the back of a Bradley Fighting Vehicle (BFV) when we were shot with an RPG that bounced of the hull and blew up a near by dumpster. A hail storm of AK-47 rounds and a few more RPG rounds came at our four vehicles (they missed with all shots except the first RPG.) The BFV’s opened up with 25mm cannons and we didn’t here another thing from the area that night. Yes I know I hide behind 2 feet of armor but what better way to be shot at. That was the first of a few contacts I was in.

The BFV with its impressive M242 25mm "Bushmaster" Chain Gun. An M240C machine gun, mounted to right of the Bushmaster, fires 7.62mm rounds and two TOW Anti-Tank Missiles carried ready to fire in a collapsible, armored launch rack on the left of the turret. Gets me hard to hear it fired.

My Birthday

Well another year coming to a close. Unlike the traditional new years resolutions made by every other person I do my self reflection on personal accomplishments and short comings on my birthday. So in a couple of days I will turn 29, and this year will be my first time to put my thoughts in writing and post them for all to criticize and read.

Twenty eight if I had to sum up in one phrase that described a large part of my year, it would have to be “A great Loss.” Just after my 28th birthday I discovered that in January of 2005 I would be deploying to Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom III. Not the best way to start off the year considering I had only been back to the states with my wife and daughters sense June 2004. There I was 4 months after a year long over seas duty assignment in Korea without my family, being told in 3 more months I would have to do another year tour without them. The months went by fast as we had just bought our first house and there was plenty to do to ensure things would be taken care of for the next year.

Two weeks after arriving in country we had our first loss and sent our first injured home. Both friends of mine. One was killed by an explosion the other had his femur broken along with some other injuries and was sent back home. It was a fast hard reminder that we are in a combat zone.

In April a few months after getting here I was told I could take leave and that this would be my only chance. I went home and every thing I had left three months before was completely foreign to me. My daughters were the only things that seemed to not have changed. My leave was a short two week break and was very strange. The warm welcome I thought I would come home to was distant and lukewarm. Half hearted smiles from my wife, a lack of sexual appetite, and what seemed like a desire to not want to be alone with me had me leaving confused and hurt. A week after I got back in country I got the dear Jody e-mail. I am in love with another man I want a divorce. Two months later she says I am one moth pregnant with his kid. The stress from being in this place going home and coming back with that news was to much for me. My job performance diminished and my lack of commitment was evident and I was moved to a lower risk position in which I was not in charge of troops on the battle field.

About June, I along with others took another hard hit. One of our platoon leaders while ridding in his vehicle with his crew was hit by a bomb. It was by far the worst experience of my life. Listening to the events unfold on the radio as I raced through the streets to get to the sene. It was like listening to an announcer on the radio, disbelief of an accident being broad cast live. I will never forget the things I heard and saw that night. “They are trapped inside.” “They can’t get out.” “They are still alive.” “We can’t get to them... the hole thing is in flames.” I won’t go into the details the smells, the sight of my friends remains, there vehicle blackened, tires melted to the ground. It was haunting as they were covered and carried away. Even more haunting was digging through the chard vehicle looking for personal effects and equipment. We laugh about combat stress here. We tell our selves we will beat the odds and come back home safe. When we leave this place and come home we I can’t help but think we will leave part of us here.

This year has been one that I never wish to repeat. I will never forget the events that happened to me. The year for me ends with many promises though. From my divorce I will get both of my daughters. The joy just from seeing them smile from something I did for them is enough that I would repeat this year if I had to for them. From the loss of my friends I have learned to cherish life. I will always remember my friends who gave there life 2Lt NH, Sfc DJS, Cpl WL.

I wrote a poem

If you have read my blog you know that I am going through some tough times. I have been getting very little sleep the last few months so I spend my time coming up with new ways to muse myself. I decided to write a poem... I have not written any thing like this in about ten years, and the lack of sleep, and its 4:00am, and I need to change my under britches, and I left the coffee pot on back in the states, might explain why it seems rushed. It is just a ruff draft let me know what you think.




Don’t Worry About Me

I look at my two daughters, I tell them that I must go
I try to explain why, as there eyes lose there glow
Why must you go away, they always ask of me
Because daddy is a soldier, I fight so we can be free
But I don’t want to be free, I want you to stay home
Let some body else do it, I don’t want to be alone
I try to ease their worries, I try to ease there pain
I must leave them any way, though my heart it will remain
I will always be with you, I will always be in your heart
And you can always know, that we will never be apart
I tuck them in to bed one last time, for each of them a kiss
Remember daddy loves you, and you I will always miss
My nation calls for me, I’ll leave my family behind
I know that some must do it, this I do not mind
Remember what I give up for you, so that we may be free
Remember what I left, what I don’t have here with me
I ask you pray for my little ones, they do not understand
They don’t quit grasp it, why I fight for this land
I am a soldier, don’t worry about me
I do this, so you don’t have to live in fear or worry